An absolutely normal human has :
1. A biological sex assigned at birth
2. An exclusive gender identity
3. A unique gender expression
4. A particular sexual & emotional orientation
5. A Subjective Sexuality
So, a perfectly normal human’s brain, body, and reproductive system can have different sexes.
Biological differences: There are 6 normal karyotypes – XY, XX, X, XXY, XYY, XXXY. All of these are categorized into Visual Differences of Sex Development (VDSD) & Non-Visual Differences of Sex Development (Non-VDSD).
Gender Identity(GI): It is the psychological sense of oneself as a male, female, gender-fluid or agender. Neurobiological studies of gender identity suggest, so far, that this can be the result of some hormonal activities at the prenatal phase which again is perfectly normal. The above-mentioned terms are umbrella terms that include around 30 different types of identities (as I know of, for now, but can be more) like androgynes, aporagenders, bigenders(2 Spiriteds), genderqueers, gender creatives, or Cisgenders like me.
Gender Expression(GE): It is how someone expresses oneself outwardly irrespective of their sex or GI. They can be masculine, feminine, androgynous or more. For example, a Butch is someone who identifies herself as a female but expresses masculine features and a Femme is someone whose GI and GE are both feminines.
Now about Trans: It is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of people whose GI and GE differs from their biologically assigned sex. A trans woman is a woman and a trans man is a man irrespective of their decisions to undergo surgery.
Sexual orientation(SO), Sexuality(Se) & Romantic Orientation(RO): SO is your preference for intimacy based on the GI or GE of the opposite person. You can be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, or Asexual.
“Se” is how you identify yourself sexually. Based on that you can be Androsexual, Gynosexual, Autosexual, Allosexual, Graysexual(umbrella), Demisexual, Fraysexual, Sapiosexual, Skoliosexual, Multi, Pan, or Omnisexual(+).
RO is how you are romantically involved within a relationship and what your emotional drives are. Your SO may or may not coincide with your RO. Based on this you can be Demiromantic, Autoromantic, Frayromantic, Aromantic, or more.
Gender Congruence: This is an ongoing process of a common desire for many. It is the feeling of harmony in our body, experiencing the comfort after naming our gender that adequately corresponds with our internal sense of who we are.
How to be respectful(in general)?: Start by asking the people you interact with, for their pronouns(not gender) before beginning any conversations. Use appropriate words, like some people prefer to use “erectile tissue” rather than “Penis” & “internal genitals” rather than “vagina”. Do not misuse your privileges. Start referring to” transitioning people” as “people pursuing congruence”. Change your terminology from ” sex reassignment surgeries” to “sex affirming surgeries”. Stop asking Trans people their deadnames, that’s disrespectful. They haven’t gone through hell just to be kept reminded of their past. Respect everyone’s privacy.
How to be an ally?: Ally is any Cis person who supports Trans-identities, challenges Transphobia, and willingly explores these biases within themselves. So, to be an ally, you have to stay updated with the evolving terms, be respectful (ref: above), introduce yourself along with your pronouns, use inclusive tones while initiating a conversation, avoid & challenge ignorant compliments like ” you are too pretty/handsome to be a trans.” Know your limits. The most important one is to accept your mistakes and learn from them. You are a human too.
So, here’s an XX-Cis (She/Her)-Hetero-Demisexual-Demiromantic-Gender congruent-Ally saying “Hello” to you.
Have a good day!
Here are a few links to the sources which can be used for further references.
https://www.genderspectrum.org/
https://www.kent.edu/lgbtq/common-ally-questions
https://www.joshuakennon.com/the-six-common-biological-sexes-in-humans/
http://www.phsa.ca/transcarebc/gender-basics-education/terms-concepts/glossary#term50
Utkirtana 